Undergrad dating Grad

A grad student had to work hard in undergrad to get the grades and test scores needed to be accepted to grad school. No matter the program of study, grad school is hard. There is more reading, more writing, more research and much higher expectations. ... Dating in grad school makes a lot of sense for students who thrive when in a relationship ... It’s fairly common; undergraduate and graduate students are often close in age and in life experience. However, the universities I’ve worked for have had very explicit rules that no one can have a romantic or sexual relationship with a person they... Orientation is the rule about dating site exclusively for have a grad students. Let's put this graduate students, i learned that many grad students women and a grad school, like how bout an undergrad? Statistic online dating, taylor said. Responsible owner: 00 a continuation of her roommates is working on most yale undergrads dating, and because. Relationships of this type can be judged on three criteria - age difference, jurisdiction or lack thereof of grad student over undergrad, and seriousness of commitment. At one end would be a 40-year-old grad student having a brief and purely sexual fling with his own undergrad - disgusting and ought to lead to expulsion from the program. Well, I'm a male grad student. I would date an undergrad. In fact, I have to look at the undergrad population, because there aren't that many grad students comparatively and most are either married or in long-term relationships. Seriously, like in my research group alone, I'm the only single guy. Maturity isn't just a factor of age. If it's not relationships with fellow students (grad or undergrad) it could be something you write or something you say or something you wear or something you post, etc. Also, you call it a short-term desire, but no one said these were one-night-stands. In fact the original post says dating undergrads. People meet future spouses all the time at ... Grad students might be attractive if the undergrad who’s crushing on you still hasn’t quite grasped the concept of doing his own laundry. Grad students have been there, done that. At twenty-three and older, they’ve grown up a lot. They probably won’t be engaging in syrup-chugging contests when they have a research project on the horizon. Dating a grad student (as an undergrad) Close. 9. Posted by 3 years ago. Archived. Dating a grad student (as an undergrad) Hey all, Hopefully this is the right subreddit to post this question. I'm currently a third year undergrad (comp sci/accounting double major). Over the winter break, a friend of mine working on his PhD (in astrophysics) and ... If it's how relationships with fellow students grad or undergrad it could be something you write or something you say or something you wear or something you post, etc. Also, you call it a short-student grad, but no undergrad said these were one-night-stands. In grad the original post says dating undergrads. The college bar is risky in the same way dating apps are risky in grad school — you'll probably run into your students doing body shots on a high top and honestly, there's very little chance of ...

How do I combat perfectionism in grad school?

2020.10.21 08:43 hey_belle How do I combat perfectionism in grad school?

So I am in my first semester of grad school. I feel like my story is very common. I was a straight A student through high school despite some difficulties with disorganization and forgetfulness, but when I got to college my ADHD hit me like a truck and the whole 4 (make that 5 :/) years were very rough and almost traumatic in the sense that it damaged my self esteem pretty severely and caused me to have major anxiety about applying to grad school and my ability to succeed in it.
I ended up with only a 2.5 GPA which was heartbreaking and mortifying for something that was previously known as a good student, and actually loves school. Being a top student was a big part of my identity growing up and, whether that was healthy or not, losing that was very difficult.
I took a year off because I needed it, started full time work, and was generally doing a lot better than I had in a while. I applied and got into grad which was the biggest relief of my life. I told myself that I would get the grades I wanted but didn’t get in undergrad.
I’m currently halfway through my first semester and up until now I was honestly doing a great job (for me) with balancing full time work and full time school. I had straight A’s and was feeling on top of things for the most part.
That all came crashing down when my grandfather died a few weeks ago, which coincided with a few weeks of many assignment due dates. All of the sudden it was like my worst symptoms were in full force. I have been forgetting EVERYTHING and focusing feels like an impossible task. I’m getting overwhelmed at work over silly things.
Worst of all, I missed some deadlines for school assignments. This was the norm for me in undergrad (not that I felt okay about it), but this time it feels crushing. I had to explain to my professors that I am having trouble managing my ADHD right now, and they have been generally understanding. I am sad because I wanted to get straight A’s to prove to myself that I can do this. It still may be possible but I will have to see how much partial credit they give me on the late work. I also feel like my professors view me negatively now.
I have plans to reduce my work load to part time next semester so I hope that will help. I was taking Vyvanse but I had to stop because it was making me scary depressed and have extreme feelings of worthlessness at night. I have an appointment with my psych on Thursday, but I am feeling worried because she makes me feel invalidated a lot (she implied that adults don’t need medication for ADHD unless they have a “high stakes” job)
I know this has been A LOT so I apologize. I guess I am just looking for some support or some success stories from someone who has succeeded in grad school despite ADHD, especially if your journey has been really bumpy like mine.
submitted by hey_belle to ADHD [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 18:34 GradSchoolPSA I am 27 years old, make $39,250, live in Portland, OR and work part-time as a Case Manager, and am a full-time Grad Student

Notes: I write a lot… Sorry in advance. Also, please let me know if there are duplicated entries, Grammarly kept changing things.
R29 Title: a student who makes $39,000 per year spends some of her money this week on college apparel
Basic Information:
Section One: Assets and Debt
Section Two: Income
Year Hourly Projected Actual (with OT + Bonus)
2016 $17.79 $39,000 $15,000 (5 months)
2017 $21.15 in new position $21.68 raise $43,900 at hiring $45,500 at raise $49,400 (new product rollout took a lot of OT)
2018 $22.98 $47,800 $57,550 (2 bonuses + teammate on materinty leave & I covered her work)
2019 $24.59 $51,150 $53,500
2020 $25.82 $53,700 Current estimation: $39,000 (4 months of part time)

Section Three: Expenses
Section four: Other things:
The Week!
Day 1 - Monday:
Monday total: $0.00
Day 2 - Tuesday:
Tuesday Total: $0.00
Day 3 - Wednesday::
Wednesday Total: $0.00
Day 4 - Thursday:
Thursday total: $182.24
Day 5 - Friday:
Friday total: $0.00
Day 6 - Saturday
Saturday Total: $54.65
Day 7 - Sunday:
Sunday total: $0.00
Total expenses: $236.51
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
Yeah, so. We spend too much on food - I know this week seems like a decent week by my spending, but I think D spent around $400 when the groceries + Costco bill were added. We’re trying to be better about planning our shopping trips, because I personally think it’s absolutely ridiculous to have to get groceries more than once a week. D is slowly coming around to this. Honestly, this was probably a quieter spending week - I feel like we usually get takeout at least twice a week (instead of once)?
submitted by GradSchoolPSA to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 09:37 Thrwaynumba3 Cover Letter Feedback Pls! Afraid mine is too long/a little desperate. Also I have some tips for anyone looking for development job!

Hello /FilmIndustryLA. I'm a recent UCLA grad that has been applying like crazy to assistant/coordinator jobs at different agencies, studios, networks, etc.
I started searching for work in February and using UTA list I got 2 interviews. I almost got 1 of them, but I had last interview 2 days before Newsom shut down state. :/
I'm making this post because of the all too common "Need 1-2 years experience as assistant" in just about every assistant job on UTA, Mandy, Entertainment Careers, and network websites (CBS, NBC, Netflix, etc.)
With some hard work and a little luck I was blessed to have a pretty stellar internship history during undergrad and right after graduation. I don't want to identfy myself, so I'm just gonna say a much similiar studio/network for each of my internships.
Sophomore year I worked at "Dreamworks" and then again Junior year, but in the TV department. Senior year I worked at "Paramount" and then 1 month after I graduated i worked at "FX Networks". I'm also currently a script reader for "HBO".
So with all this experience I figured even in the COVID situation I would still get an interview, but every job post is asking for assistant experience. As a result this is the Cover Letter I have been rocking with.
This is an example I sent to Amazon about an assistant position in the Comedy Department they posted.
*Attn: Hiring Manager
As a recent UCLA Graduate with extensive experience in different renowned studios, I am applying for the Creative Assistant Position. Attached you'll find my resume with a description of my qualifications.
I am a highly motivated, hands-on recent graduate who is looking to join Amazon Studios and do whatever work is necessary to assist your Head of Comedy. My combination of script insight, development experience, desk experience, and passion for all things film will make me the ideal candidate for the Assistant Position.
Comedy has always been my passion and I have been writing jokes for years and performed stand up in Santa Barbara. Creating absolutely hilarious and smart comedy is something I believe I am gifted at. When quarantine ends I plan on performing stand up comedy in Los Angeles!
In my resume you will see that I have had three different internships at large distribution/production companies (FX, Dreamworks, Paramount) and am currently working as a script/book reader for HBO. I would love the chance to work for a streaming service after working in traditional studios.
I understand you may be looking for someone with a full-time assistant position on their resume, but I made it a mission at every one of my internships to learn the assistant role and have logged over 120 hours at a (VP, EP, and manager)’s assistant desk! If you move forward with my application, I’ll demonstrate firsthand how ready and qualified I am for this position in our interview. Besides my desk expertise, my current Script/Book Reader job at renowned HBO demonstrates my proven ability to recognize and dissect quality content.
I look forward to speaking with you (in-person or virtual) in further detail about the open position and opportunity with Amazon.
Sincerely, ____________*
So the bolded parts are what I'm consdering taking out. I'm afraid it makes CV too long. But at the same time I feel like the second bolded part is needed for positions that request more experience.
Please any thoughts on changing CV let me know!!! I'm afraid it is too long :(
I didn't want to make a completely self-serving post, so I have some advice for people looking for development jobs. I've gotten 3 stellar internships and one script reader job without any connections, so I can tell ya what has helped me.
  1. Get Mailtrack Pro. It lets you know who saw your email and who opens your attachment. Helps so much to know what email subject line, send time, and email bodies are most succesful for getting companies to open email. I probaly have about half of my emails opened and half of those open my resume.
  2. Send emails/apps in morning. Seems to get buried when I send later.
  3. Apply for internships early. I'm talking sometimes 6 months over start date. Big companies fill these months before starts date.
  4. Always act like your doing something in email/CV letter. It could be writing, directing, studying for CPA, LSAT, etc. doesn't matter. You don't want to seem like your sitting on your ass even if thats what your doing.
Kinda 5. I can't wholly recommend this, but lie. Everybody stretches their responsibilities on resume a bit, but 1 of the assistants i worked with legit lied about all his internships on resume to get assistant job. He said he learned Excel and other programs after he was offered the job and just spent days learning script coverage before hsis first assignment. IM NOT RECOMMENDING THIS BECAUSE IT IS RISKY AND GETTING CAUGHT WILL ABSOLUTELY GET U FIRED OR WORSE. However if you have no experience, but know you can handle assistant jobs then do what you gotta do.
Thx for reading!
submitted by Thrwaynumba3 to FilmIndustryLA [link] [comments]


2020.10.16 01:17 ThrowRAihatemymajor My(23F) good paying job VS my fiancé’s(23M) job he loves

I(23F) want to preface this by saying that my fiancé(23M, Sam) and I are not in an argument about this. We are discussing options I would just like some advice from people with more wisdom. Long post; TLDR at the bottom.
My fiance and I started dating in university, dated for 2 yrs, and are getting married very soon. We both graduated this year with engineering degrees. We have different engineering degrees, but both are in more specific areas (Sam’s is more specific than mine) as opposed to more broad ones like mechanical engineering.
I chose my major because it was one of the highest paying degrees(w/o going to grad/law/med school). I known it’s shallow, but making a lot of money is important to me. I want to make a lot of money and retire early (hopefully early 40s). I have absolutely no passion for my major, and did not enjoy my undergrad courses at all. However, I stuck with it because 1. it pays well, 2. I didn’t have anything else I wanted to do, and 3. I was pretty good at it. Also, my parents fully paid my tuition and I am insanely grateful for that. I would have not gone to college if it meant I had to take out huge loans.
Sam is the opposite. He was incredibly passionate about his major and adores it. It was his dream since a kid, and he wants to work as long as he is able to do so. Which at times I do wish I had the passion that he has. I can’t imagine what its like to love what you do for a living. However, his parents did not help with his tuition at all. As a result, he has 6 figure student loan debt. He doesn’t care about money as long as he’s not homeless and starving.
Sam graduated a semester earlier than me with a job lined up at his dream company before the pandemic started, so he’s been working for a couple months now. The pay is average for an engineering job, but Sam loves it so much that he would still work for them even if they paid him minimum wage. On the other hand, I just graduated this August and have been job hunting since. I tried very hard to find jobs around Sam’s job, but failed. During the job hunting process, I found that its very difficult to find a location that has jobs in both Sam and I’s interests. I got lucky (considering the COVID situation) and just got a job offer in an area thats not even related to my undergrad degree. I don’t care that its not related to my degree, well, cause money. It pays decent for a first job, but has great benefits, raises, and will pay 6 figures in a few years.
The issue is that my job is across the country. On top of that, there is not a single job/company in Sam’s interest around the my job. Absolutely none. So if we both choose our jobs, we’ll have to be in a long distance marriage with no soon end date. I would have less of an issue with finding a lower paying job in Sam’s area if he didn’t have a 6 figure student loan debt.
Our options are 1. We both choose our jobs and be in a long distance marriage for 5+ years. Realistically we would see each other once a month. 2. I choose my job, Sam moves with me. Sam has to give up his dream job but we have more money 3. I give up my job and stay with Sam. He gets to keep his dream job, but we have less money.
Any advice on what we should do? Thank you in advance.
TLDR: I have a good paying job across the country from Sam’s job that he loves. We have to either choose one job, or be in a long distance marriage for the foreseeable future. How do we decide?
submitted by ThrowRAihatemymajor to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.15 23:12 Dig-Clean just need to vent

I'm in my 6th year of phd. As an undergrad I was so excited about research and was so ready for grad school and then this combination of terrible, shitty collaborators and health issues (constantly dismissed by doctors) has made it a living hell for me. I feel like I've wasted my 20s being miserable. I've been working on projects in an area I don't care about on a paper that keeps getting rejected. I don't get to participate in any conversations about research because no one thinks I have useful input on anything. I've never even dated, but I've had my heart broken multiple times by people who didn't care about me. At this point I can't imagine who would want to date someone like me anyway. My parents don't understand any of it and every time I visit home I still get criticized for dumb shit like having too many mugs in my room instead of having someone to understand how overwhelmed I feel. I've gone through five different therapists and it's just made things worse instead of better.
It is really hard not to feel like a massive failure. All my friends, bless them are incredibly brilliant and successful, most of the people in my cohort graduated already or are graduating before me and are going to get faculty jobs while I'm just hoping I get any job. I don't want to quit but I honestly don't know how things are going to get better from here.
submitted by Dig-Clean to GradSchool [link] [comments]


2020.10.15 20:47 Disastrous_Nature13 First Ever Pc Build

This is my first ever pc build, and I would appreciate any advice given.
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Extra info or particulars:
submitted by Disastrous_Nature13 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 02:53 Aplastic_Bitchititis (Long)JNMIL's Sister Called me and my fiancé to "Tell her the truth"

*Edit: Context and Grammer
Update: HE WENT NC. FINALLY. HELL YESS. He called this afternoon to confront FMIL if what the fuck was that mess of his aunt(which who never calls him on any occasion) calling him out of blue and torturing with questions. We were upset because 1. FMIL had no business of telling about what happened to other people 2. From what his aunt said, it was so obvious FMIL painted her as a victim while only mentioning how I reacted to the situation(calling her fucking bitch, blowing up, crying etc).
He went outside to do the call because he wanted to deal with it on his own as he was worried I would get irritated hearing her voice and try to yell back or fight so I don't know what exactly happened. He told me he asked her what happened and wanted to hear why she did what she did, and apparently as soon as he asked her: "Mother, do you realize how you fucked up?" she blew up AGAIN and started screaming, hanging up on him and just refused to talk to him saying she didn't do anything wrong and regrets nothing she did or said😂.
After, he called his dad to let him know he wants nothing to do with her until she grows up and realize what she did was wrong and why it was so wrong and hurtful for everyone especially me, and that he's deeply disappointed in her. So yay anyways!!!!!!! We're finally NC now and I'm so glad honestly.



Sorry my writing is all over the place, I'm just so fucking done and I'm writing as I just finished bawling my eyes out.
I'm(F21) is living with my FH(M25), been together for a little over year and half. We're both in university, I'm in undergrad for very demanding major and my FH is in PhD. My FMIL and FFIL has list and list of JN behaviours. Me(involuntarily) and my FH has been living with them for first year of our relationship, and we moved out because I got an anger issues from my FMIL.
To list some of JN behaviours:
- My FMIL tells me the main reason why I get catcalled and flirted on is solely because the of the way I dress, so I shall not dress in short skirt and dresses and only be pretty to their son.
- FMIL has asthma and various health issues, so does FFIL. She doesn't take COVID seriously at all, and she thinks "Going out to get wine and cheese/Buying shower curtain" when the whole city is on lockdown is a completely justifiable behaviour. When I asked her kindly to limit going out, she replied that if she gets COVID it's the will of god and she shall obey what god has planned for her(?).
- FMIL and FFIL has very interesting dynamics. FMIL is basically a slave to her husband's family, and FFIL neglects her and expects her to do everything for him, his parents, and relatives. FMIL tried very very hard to implant this dynamics into our relationship telling us "This is how it should be."
- Whenever we had arguments, my FMIL would never ever give us a single space. She must hear everything whatever we say and she ends up giving me a lecture about how this is really unimportant and we must learn to love each other.
- My FH once lost my wallet that is very sentimental to me as my mom got me for my high school graduation, that had all my credit/debit/ID cards into it. My mom is borderline and I was never close to her, and ever since I moved out to different city for education that was my token of my mother that I carry with me all the time. FMIL, after a while of trying to convince me that I might have lost it, not her son, she says "As long as you have each other that's all that matters, monetary value are all replaceable."
- FMIL is incredibly obsessed with my engagement ring and she reminded me on daily basis how lucky I am to have him as my partner. When I changed up my 0.3ct centre stone into 1.5ct moissanite to my taste, she told me it's too big and after hearing that it's not a diamond and that I paid half of it, she got a promise from me not to tell anyone it's not a diamond or that I paid half of it, and to tell people this is the ring he proposed to me with.
- My fiancé and I never spent day apart in our relationship. I had apartment at the university, that I apparently was never allowed to stay up there with my fiancé because we're babies and we can't handle ourself. When we stayed up there, she called my fiancé at least 2 times a day and whenever she called she begged my fiancé to come home because he sounds absolutely horrible and needs good food and sleep at mommy's arm.
- Me and my fiancé almost broke up 3 times. First is when we were discussing engagement and FMIL couldn't shut her goddamn mouth and tell me as if I'm not enough for her son and that I should wait as long as I could, as well as keep painting me as a materialistic ring-obsessed bitch. For a while, every single time me and my FH had an argument or simple disagreement, she auto-assumed it's because I don't have a diamond ring on my finger yet. Second is when I got tired of FMIL meddling whenever we have argument and I stood up to go to my apartment, she blew up, screamed at me and blocked my way saying I can't escape her roof. Third is when she called me a fucking bitch for taking her baby away when we moved out(getting to that point).
- FFIL isn't overbearing like FMIL, but is extremely lazy and sexist, and never once said thank you for me cleaning up after his mess whether it's his dirty dishes or food crumbles on sofa.
- And many more.
The main incident that made us move out from them was:
when pandemic started and I had no breaks dealing with them, I started going absolutely nuts and I wasn't even allowed to go visit my mother in different city due to lockdown. My FMIL being overbearing, eavesdropping in conversations, meddling in our business, being overprotective over FH(she kinda tries to "date" me for him cause she's so convinced he can't do anything and so worried that I'll hurt him lmao) and going out several times a day without proper reason when the whole town is in lockdown drove me absolutely insane(because of FMIL and FFIL's high risk, and I also didn't want to have any trouble when I finally get to go see my mom if they happen to give me COVID), so I told her one evening in dinner table that we're moving out.
Then she big time blew up and went crazy, basically telling me that I can't be taking her baby away. She was asking me if my parents know if I live at their place (No, cause I have an apartment up at university my FMIL told me I can't go over many times), That I'm a spoiled little brat who never appreciates what they're doing for me(yeah I don't appreciate cleaning duty abuse), and that I don't know what I'm doing with my life(I wanted to go to vet school and I opted grad school in animal biology stream instead because my fiancé didn't want to do long distance).
I didn't want to deal with her so I ran upstairs and FMIL followed me close, she was pointing fingers at me, screaming and kept saying stuff while I was yelling at her to get out of the room. Along the line she said that my parents doesn't give a shit about me(my mom has Borderline Personality Disorder and we never got along so well, and my dad is very busy and successful person so he never had time to care. This has always been my trauma growing up and FMIL knows it well), which I blew up too and called her a fucking bitch and threw some stuff because I couldn't control myself. Trust me, I'm never ever this aggressive. I have never been so angry in my entire life. My fiancé originally defended her saying that I shouldn't have called her a fucking bitch even though she said some nasty stuff at me, which got me even more angry.
The next day my FMIL came to me to apologize in very "Hey I don't know what I did was wrong but if it hurt you I'm sorry and you should probably get over it because you're part of my family and I'm the mother of the man you're engaged to" manner so I just ignored her and walked out. She blew up again, and my fiance went to mediate it and my FMIL said that I'm a control freak and that my fiancé is my pet, that I'm ruining their golden child and etc. My FH didn't defend me as he was *just too shocked* that his parents are pulling this and kept crying, which I lost all my respect for him. Anyways they gave him option to break up with me, kick me out of the house and him stay with them, or that he move out with me. He opted latter as that's what we wanted all along.
As I already mentioned I had INSANE amount of anger from what happened, and for first few weeks I lost 20 lbs, I couldn't sleep, and I randomly started crying denying all things she name called me for. I blamed my FH for not defending me, I blamed me for even being with him and giving up on my dream job(vet med) for this sequence of bullshit, and all that. It's been a hell of a ride but I started seeing counsellor for my anger issues and I got a lot better, and my FH grew a backbone and realized that he fucked up by not defending me, and how he should have listened to me more and went extremely LC with his parents and right now he's considering NC for all the things they've done to me and straining the relationship. With all the talking, I decided to go to vet school that I've been setting aside ever since I start dating him, and we decided to elope two of us next January which both made me so happy.
We've been actually doing incredibly well. We were able to talk out and solve a lot of problems we had in our relationship, understand each other more, and our relationship got stronger each day. And today my JNMIL's sister called my FH to I guess ask him why he wasn't at thanksgiving. He just said it's because we're both busy with school and she kept digging at him like "Tell me the truth" "Tell me the truth" and he just kept answering briefly that we're both busy and that we wanted distance from FMIL and FFIL because of how overbearing they are. She kept saying that my FH is hurting his parent's feeling and how they love him to death, and kept insisted on "Knowing the truth" as well as asking him to put me on phone. My FH was obviously just trying to calm her down and hang up, so he kept answering "okay" "okay" and didn't talk back to her, so I volunteered to speak and told her that her sister gave me anger issues and that I wish she wouldn't call to be nosy like this. She then told my FH I freaked out of nowhere just like I did to JNMIL and I have problem with my attitude.
Yeah, what the fuck.
submitted by Aplastic_Bitchititis to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]


2020.10.13 22:21 bodesh Mental health is at an all time low. Looking for advice on how to navigate this situation.

So this is a long and messy story but here it goes. After graduating in Mechanical Engineering I wanted to get into grad school. I worked as a software engineer for 2 years after graduation and really liked it so I wanted to get a Masters in Computer Science instead. Perhaps even a PhD someday.I didn't get accepted to CS MS programs because I didn't take enough CS courses during undergrad (I took 2, most schools wanted around 8). But I got an offer for a MS in ME program where I would be funded by the department for working as an RA. Since the research was very similar to what I planned to work on if I got into CS I took the offer. My plan was to graduate with a good GPA (in the 3.8-3.9 range) and I was confident that all things considered, I had the ability to do it.
But I didn't account for Covid. On my first semester after moving to a new state and for the first time living somewhere without any friends or family, Covid shut everything down. Classes turned into online sessions and the days became increasingly difficult. I also took two very hard courses (Machine learning and Computer Vision) on my first semester and although I was coping well before, once covid hit I lost it. I barely managed to submit the assignments and pass the exams. End of the semester I end up with a C and a B- making my GPA 2.375. For someone who's always had grades in the higher end of the spectrum, this was a situation that took a great toll on my mental health and confidence going forward into the next semester. Once the semester started, the department told me that because of the poor GPA they would cut off my funding if it weren't for my supervisor vouching for me. I was given another chance, get two As this Fall semester or I'm out.
So as hard as it was for me, I took it on the chin and decided to give it my absolute very best to ensure I get those two As, not just because I needed the financial aid to continue my program but because I cannot afford to end up with a lower GPA than what I was already in for after last semester's disaster. I took two easy courses after looking at the syllabus. I submitted everything well before the due dates and got close to 100% on both courses till September. Start of October, I had a mid for one of the courses where I studied very hard for a whole week. The exam didn't go perfectly, but I expected to get 70-80/100. The professor released the grades for the exam and I found out I got a 31/100. The average for the class was 42/100. The professor said that this is how she grades most of the time and rarely gives out grades over a B+. I checked how the professor assessed my answers and I found that she was very unfair, deliberately deducting marks for perfectly valid answers. At least 20 marks were deducted for no valid reason. When I approached her for it she said the answers were right but she didn't like them. And then continued to give vague excuses until at one point she got upset and told me to complain to the department if I didn't like the grade. After discussing with my classmates and hearing stories about previous years, I realised that it is practically impossible to get an A in this course. As it stands I'm going to be fired from my RA position after the semester. And that's when my anxiety, depression and frequent panic attacks took a turn for the worst. I'm not just worried about the financial situation but also where my eventual GPA will end up (in the 3.1~3.2 range if the trend continues). I also had talks to switch my major to CS after this semester but with a GPA below 3.00 I don't think the department will accept my application.
I don't think I can carry on with two more semesters of this knowing how I'll end up and so I'm considering leaving the program now. I think I need to start fresh to fix myself and get back my confidence almost all of which I've lost over the last 9 months of living in a constant state of despair and anxiety. I want to transfer to a different school, preferably a bit closer to home. But I'm not sure how my supervisor and the department will react to this. I'm already seeing a therapist and I'm on antidepressants but even those aren't doing the trick anymore. I understand that because of my current mental state, I'm not able to think as clearly as before so I need a second opinion on this. If you read through this super long post and can relate to what I'm going through on some level, please let me know what you think is a good plan of action going into 2021.
submitted by bodesh to GradSchool [link] [comments]


2020.10.13 19:42 Tidwex Prayer: Pursuing, Like Christ Pursued Us (Genesis 3:9; Ephesians 5:25)

I'm a 25 year old male who has been saved for 2 years now. I've been single for the past 4 years (partly choice, partly circumstantial).
I've been praying for a spouse ever since I got saved since I knew one of my big sins would be lust. I struggle tremendously with it (escaped porn about four months into being saved, God was not putting up with that). I'm also a virgin (by choice, both before conversion and after), so it's been wearing on me tremendously abstaining from sex for these 25 years.
I want a wife to take care of (I have high emotional perceptiveness so I love to love others), to lead, and to avoid unrighteous forms of sexual pursuits. So I've been praying for about 2 years now. Some girls come along, but the timing is never right. It's been heavy on my heart. I have a prayer journal, and for the past 5 months I noticed I always pray for it.
I grew up in a church (Church "A") from age 16-18, and while there, a girl liked me who younger than me (she was 13, I was 17, it was one of those girl crushes every young girl has on the older guys). My mom overheard her, and told me. I thought nothing of it, hardly knew the girl. I went off to undergrad, parents switched churches (From Church "A" to Church "B"), and even though I was local I never really went to church. Went off and did grad school, and got saved during it (aged 23). Came back home and did more schooling for a year. During this year, I went back to this Church A, since Church B wasn't offering Sunday night and Wed night, just Sunday morning. This was about 4 months ago. That's when I saw this same girl who liked me at 13, who is almost 21 now. I couldn't believe how different she looked. Figured she had a bf, and totally forgot about the part of her liking me a while ago. Decided to go full time to Church A since I was going to Sunday and Wednesday services and it would be easier to just go to all three instead of splitting and doing Sunday morning at Church B and then Sunday night, Wed night at Church A.
But, this situation has been wearing on me. The months have gone by, and I've found myself increasingly noticing her. Some nights, it's just me and her and all older people. She's a gem, she drives herself to services when her parents don't go with her, same when her friends don't come. By God's providence, I've found myself sitting right behind her during some services (it's a small IFB church, so there isn't a lot of people. sometimes I get blessed and she is sitting with a person I know, so I sit by her, but I normally sit away from her with some older members that I like to talk to, to avoid being creepy since I don't really know her that well and she sits with her friends who are girls). I've found myself to really like this girl. Checks all the boxes. She's single, and so am I.
I've had a few conversations with her parents during church and with helping out volunteering with church functions. I like them too, and they think I'm a good kid. Everyone in the church says I'm a "fine young man" and a "really good kid". It means a lot to me. The girl's best friend's mom (whom I've hardly spoke to, and my mom hardly spoke to when my parents took us back in the day) even asked my mom if I'm single, "He's a fine young man, does he have a gf?" when my parents showed up to one of Church A's events (I was volunteering at) to visit (since my parents are still at Church B). Her friend is dating someone, so the mom wasn't asking for her daughter. Not sure if that's coincidence, or if that's this girl's way of doing recon on me (she was sitting right beside her friend's mom at the same table under the tent when my mom was called over and asked).
I keep thinking like Gideon in Judges 6. God, is this really what you want? If this is who you want me to pursue, give me a sign. I don't want to put myself out there in front of a tight-knit church unless I know this girl likes me and she is a good fit.
The other thing is, this girl is extremely shy around people she doesn't know, which is basically just me since everyone at this church grew up in this church. There aren't any other guys that go there, just a few 20 year old girls, all of which have serious bf's/husbands, but her.
I'm also kind of reserved, I've had to really step it up and introduce myself to everyone in the church since no one seems to introduce themselves to me (some do, and I'm grateful) and I was shy when I went there as a 16-18 year old, so it's this wierd "Yeah, idk if we knew each other but I'm older now! What was your name again?" This has made it really hard to talk to this girl, I've had to initiate every convo and it's kind of awkward. She has trouble keeping conversations going, and she breaks eye contact a lot with me. Baby steps and simple questions is where I'm at now. "What job are you working at? What was your duty today volunteering for this event?" I don't want to scare her off going in for the kill too soon: "Hey, we have trouble having basic conversations but let's hang out for an hour and grab coffee and do just that!" I also overthink everything, and I have anxiety (working on it).
I've been wanting to pursue this woman, but I am hesitant because this is a tight-knit, old school church. Really traditional, everyone watching and this girl is always near people. There never is an opening.
I need prayer that I can get over my anxiety and pursue her like Christ pursued us. In Genesis 3:9, God chases down Adam and Eve, and Christ does the same with us. I want to be like Christ, I'm just not confident enough. What if other people judge me for asking her? What if she doesn't like me? This situation has been really messing with my head, and the last time I was this anxious about something was when God saved me.
Am I being like Gideon, is this really all coincidence? Or, am I really being listened to by God and He's answering my prayer, "Hey, this is her! Pursue her already!"
I've got 1 Cor 7:2 and 1 Cor 7:9 taped to my prayer journal, along with other verses that show God answers the prayers of the upright. I can't serve God when lust dominates me. I have a high sex drive, so being abstinent for this long has absolutely worn me down. I need some serious prayer. Sorry for the long drawn out story, I just needed to get this off my chest.
submitted by Tidwex to Christianmarriage [link] [comments]


2020.10.13 09:04 Tidwex Prayer: Pursuing, Like Christ Pursued Us (Genesis 3:9; Ephesians 5:25)

Originally made a throw-away account for this, but it wasn't allowed to be posted, so I did it on my main. Oh well...
I'm a 25 year old male who has been saved for 2 years now. I've been single for the past 4 years (partly choice, partly circumstantial).
I've been praying for a spouse ever since I got saved since I knew one of my big sins would be lust. I struggle tremendously with it (escaped porn about four months into being saved, God was not putting up with that). I'm also a virgin (by choice, both before conversion and after), so it's been wearing on me tremendously abstaining from sex for these 25 years.
I want a wife to take care of (I have high emotional perceptiveness so I love to love others), to lead, and to avoid unrighteous forms of sexual pursuits. So I've been praying for about 2 years now. Some girls come along, but the timing is never right. It's been heavy on my heart. I have a prayer journal, and for the past 5 months I noticed I always pray for it.
I grew up in a church (Church "A") from age 16-18, and while there, a girl liked me who younger than me (she was 13, I was 17, it was one of those girl crushes every young girl has on the older guys). My mom overheard her, and told me. I thought nothing of it, hardly knew the girl. I went off to undergrad, parents switched churches (From Church "A" to Church "B"), and even though I was local I never really went to church. Went off and did grad school, and got saved during it (aged 23). Came back home and did more schooling for a year. During this year, I went back to this Church A, since Church B wasn't offering Sunday night and Wed night, just Sunday morning. This was about 4 months ago. That's when I saw this same girl who liked me at 13, who is almost 21 now. I couldn't believe how different she looked. Figured she had a bf, and totally forgot about the part of her liking me a while ago. Decided to go full time to Church A since I was going to Sunday and Wednesday services and it would be easier to just go to all three instead of splitting and doing Sunday morning at Church B and then Sunday night, Wed night at Church A.
But, this situation has been wearing on me. The months have gone by, and I've found myself increasingly noticing her. Some nights, it's just me and her and all older people. She's a gem, she drives herself to services when her parents don't go with her, same when her friends don't come. By God's providence, I've found myself sitting right behind her during some services (it's a small IFB church, so there isn't a lot of people. sometimes I get blessed and she is sitting with a person I know, so I sit by her, but I normally sit away from her with some older members that I like to talk to, to avoid being creepy since I don't really know her that well and she sits with her friends who are girls). I've found myself to really like this girl. Checks all the boxes. She's single, and so am I.
I've had a few conversations with her parents during church and with helping out volunteering with church functions. I like them too, and they think I'm a good kid. Everyone in the church says I'm a "fine young man" and a "really good kid". It means a lot to me. The girl's best friend's mom (whom I've hardly spoke to, and my mom hardly spoke to when my parents took us back in the day) even asked my mom if I'm single, "He's a fine young man, does he have a gf?" when my parents showed up to one of Church A's events (I was volunteering at) to visit (since my parents are still at Church B). Her friend is dating someone, so the mom wasn't asking for her daughter. Not sure if that's coincidence, or if that's this girl's way of doing recon on me (she was sitting right beside her friend's mom at the same table under the tent when my mom was called over and asked).
I keep thinking like Gideon in Judges 6. God, is this really what you want? If this is who you want me to pursue, give me a sign. I don't want to put myself out there in front of a tight-knit church unless I know this girl likes me and she is a good fit.
The other thing is, this girl is extremely shy around people she doesn't know, which is basically just me since everyone at this church grew up in this church. There aren't any other guys that go there, just a few 20 year old girls, all of which have serious bf's/husbands, but her.
I'm also kind of reserved, I've had to really step it up and introduce myself to everyone in the church since no one seems to introduce themselves to me (some do, and I'm grateful) and I was shy when I went there as a 16-18 year old, so it's this wierd "Yeah, idk if we knew each other but I'm older now! What was your name again?" This has made it really hard to talk to this girl, I've had to initiate every convo and it's kind of awkward. She has trouble keeping conversations going, and she breaks eye contact a lot with me. Baby steps and simple questions is where I'm at now. "What job are you working at? What was your duty today volunteering for this event?" I don't want to scare her off going in for the kill too soon: "Hey, we have trouble having basic conversations but let's hang out for an hour and grab coffee and do just that!" I also overthink everything, and I have anxiety (working on it).
I've been wanting to pursue this woman, but I am hesitant because this is a tight-knit, old school church. Really traditional, everyone watching and this girl is always near people. There never is an opening.
I need prayer that I can get over my anxiety and pursue her like Christ pursued us. In Genesis 3:9, God chases down Adam and Eve, and Christ does the same with us. I want to be like Christ, I'm just not confident enough. What if other people judge me for asking her? What if she doesn't like me? This situation has been really messing with my head, and the last time I was this anxious about something was when God saved me.
Am I being like Gideon, is this really all coincidence? Or, am I really being listened to by God and He's answering my prayer, "Hey, this is her! Pursue her already!"
I've got 1 Cor 7:2 and 1 Cor 7:9 taped to my prayer journal, along with other verses that show God answers the prayers of the upright. I can't serve God when lust dominates me. I have a high sex drive, so being abstinent for this long has absolutely worn me down. I need some serious prayer. Sorry for the long drawn out story, I just needed to get this off my chest.
submitted by Tidwex to Reformed [link] [comments]


2020.10.12 23:27 kentofighter Electrical Engineer Alumni/Local FW Engineer AMA

Hi all,
I'm semi-browse the SJSU subreddit page from time to time and notice questions related to EE/engineering internships, direct messages to me about my majocareer, and advice about jobs/school. So I am creating an AMA for EE or engineers who are interested in Firmware or EE positions, or simply anyone who is interesting in asking a question. I'm still relatively new (2-3 yrs) in the work field and I don't work in recruiting to say if I know if your resume will pass or be seen, but I can offer advice, personal experiences, etc... I can ask recruiters from time to time if the question is interesting enough also.
 
I started as a freshman in SJSU undergrad in the EE department, went directly to the master's EE program, and graduated in ~2018-19 year (keeping it vague). I focused on Embedded Systems and Firmware/Software in my studies and also develop portions of the EE department's undergrad courses that involved those focuses (EE120/EE138). Certain students or colleague of mine may know who I am from this statement, but I'm trying to avoid a LinkedIn spam.
 
My advice for classes may be outdated a bit, but I imagine that the classes can't have change dramatically. I understand the limitations, strengths, and flaws of the EE program at SJSU, which is slightly dangerous because then I have a (negative) bias for students coming out of the EE department. I have participated as a Career Fair representative for undergrad students for my company virtually this year and I have created this post to answer any questions (within my ability) about any concerns you have. I can't answer questions revolving around SAT scores or if you will get into SJSU (etc...) because I came from a time when SAT score was 2400 and SJSU was less impacted.
 
Some Advice:
  1. Grad School is an option for those who have not landed an internship in undergrad. Companies love to hire graduate interns compared to undergrad (at least for Engineering)
  2. Typically you cannot get an internship (unless small company or no pay or startup) if you have or will graduate before the start date.
  3. Generally you want to apply for internships about two seasons ahead of the date. So apply in Fall for Summer positions. Doesn't mean to not apply regardless if late.
  4. Seems stereotypical to say but apply for internships as soon as possible even as early as freshman year. Don't worry about grades or whatever, interviews are still good experiences. Some positions want fresher minds than seniors sometimes. I did not do this my undergrad year and regretted.
  5. EE advice: It is difficult to get a hardware job as an undergrad student (even as a grad student), especially in the bay (even worse with no job experience). Just FYI. People say that you literally have to wait for a man to die for you to take their spot sometimes (exaggeration, but with reason).
  6. Software is the Flavor Job position of the Decade and perhaps next decade. Learn a programming language. Python, C/C++, JAVA (if full software), Linux, etc..., it will be crucial for you to know scripting languages for you to be useful and replace "older" workers or simply be able to keep up with other competing students.
  7. Don't over-boast or oversell yourself in the interview (and don't lie), especially to someone who focuses on that field. As an alumni, I know what is provided to SJSU students, so try to be honest/humble (not brutally honest) and sometimes just try to be more excited or more interested in what position you are applying for.
  8. Word over PDF when you send the resume digitally. This is what I got from two different company recruiters I have talked to and worked at. Maybe PDF if you are sending it directly to a hiring manageengineer to review. But to recruiters/cold apply, send a doc.
  9. Your engineering coursework is cute to list on your resume, but I typically would only expect it from a freshman/sophomore unless this coursework is unique, interesting, or something to discuss. Fill your resume with projects if you have no experience, list what you did, how you did it, responsibilities, and something to talk about. A recruiter or engineer who is reading off your resume needs to come up with questions and talking points (make it easy for them). Nothing like "I wrote in C.". More like "Utilize C, to develop a calculator with methodology." If you are listing class projects, write it in a way to separate yourself from your classmates who are probably writing the same thing you are.
  10. It is quite obvious that what you do at work may not remotely be close to what you learn at school as an engineer. This is why no job experience when graduating makes it extremely rough to find an entry (ironic I know) level engineer job. I am still learning new things on the job that doesn't even touch some of the things I did in college. Find any form of internship or job before graduating as early as possible. Don't think that your coursework is enough to get you a job.
  11. No need to rush your graduation date. 4 years grad date is cool but no experience or burning out isn't.
  12. I chose SJSU over UCs because of cost, connections to the Bay, slightly easier class competition (sorry guys), "fame", location, and hands-on education. (My first choice was SLO as a high schooler.)
  13. tbd...
submitted by kentofighter to SJSU [link] [comments]


2020.10.11 00:29 AprilStorms 22/22 [FF4F] #US Midwest/North America - Seeking dance partners, life partners, lab partners, DND partners...

Hello! I am a humble queer lady-adjacent person trying to go on socially-distanced dates until I can make this comic happen with 2 or more people. I just finished reading Upright Women Wanted, which is a delightfully queer, genre-bending, future Western type of book that didn't last nearly long enough. I'm living in the Midwest US right now, but given the whole [gestures broadly], that may change.
I'm an avid reader, a bit of a romantic and a lover of puns. My other interests include ballroom dancing, hiking, rock climbing, theatre, DND, video games, and watercoloring. The kind of relationship where your kids wake up to you dancing with your honey/s in the kitchen is my ideal. I'm a fairly adventurous soul so outdoorsiness is a plus. If you think someone handing you a frog or a beetle they caught could be a romantic activity, I might be the enby/theydie for you!
Right now, I'm seeing one other lovely woman. I don't expect you two to date - the nature of the relationship between the two of you is something you can take up with her yourself - but I'd like you to at least get along. She enjoys dad jokes and medieval history, but I'll leave the rest for you to ask her. I'm mostly looking for myself and not seeking a secondary - I'm looking to be with one or two people to love longterm, to build a life with, come home to, and raise kids with (eventually). Bonus points if you're willing to kill the spider or take it outside. I can open your jars in return.
I'm lowkey looking for some other STEM people to vibe with, but consider that a bonus rather than a requirement. Currently working through some of those sweet ex-gifted kid expectations. I wasn't able to start grad school right out of undergrad, so I have a regular job right now as I work on my apps. I dearly miss the little wild creatures, so win my heart with animal facts maybe? I'm also doing Inktober for the third year running! Feel free to show me your art. (I want to see your art. Or writing or poetry, if that's your thing.)
I also like to mention upfront that I'm allergic to nicotine (no smokers/vape users, please) and my age range is 20-25.
If any of that intrigues you, drop me a message! Tell me something you're looking forward to, or what you're reading right now, or give me an idea for a long-distance date.
submitted by AprilStorms to polyamoryR4R [link] [comments]


2020.10.11 00:15 Sundaes_on_Wednesday Two years in and he can’t remember where I work or my job title.

I’m just in need of a rant, and don’t really have anyone to listen.
My (46F) boyfriend (45M) and I have been dating for just under 2 years, and today I realized he can’t remember where I work or what my job title is. I truly think he’s got no real desire to know who I am.
I can state without hesitation his employer, what he does, the name of his supervisor, and even much of his daily frustrations and successes. I’ve listened to him talk about his college both undergrad and grad schools, and can talk tell you what his degrees are in. I’m frustrated that he has clearly not given me the same level of attention to the details of my life. I honestly think that he just doesn’t give a shit.
submitted by Sundaes_on_Wednesday to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2020.10.09 23:39 eucalyptushoney007 Construction PM Seeking Environmental Related Professional from NJ/NYC

Hello,
I’m seeking somebody with a environmental/sustainability background who is familiar with conducting environmental assessments and feasibility reports.
I’m a project manager working in NYC but living in NJ. I’m seeking a partner with a engineering/environmental background to start a development/preconstruction company.
A little about me:
My introduction to construction field was unorthodox. I attended school for political science and while a undergrad I received a position for a well known developegeneral contractor specializing in affordable housing.
Over time I entertained the idea of attending a grad program for urban planning or business however my real life experience started to grow and I’ve managed to participate as PM on some major residential and commercial projects that I believe give me the background to start this company.
I have sourced properties, RFQs and RFPs that have due dates in 2021..I would like to partner with somebody and submit.
I will be happy to share LinkedIn after connecting.
Look forward to meeting / talking with everyone
Thanks
submitted by eucalyptushoney007 to Environmental_Careers [link] [comments]


2020.10.09 22:39 eucalyptushoney007 Construction PM Seeking Environmental Related Professional from Newark

Hello,
I’m seeking Newark native with a environmental/sustainability background who is familiar with conducting environmental assessments and feasibility reports.
I’m a project manager working in NYC but living in Newark. I’m seeking a partner with a engineering/environmental background to start a development/preconstruction company.
A little about me:
My introduction to construction field was unorthodox. I attended school for political science and while a undergrad I received a position for a well known developegeneral contractor specializing in affordable housing.
Over time I entertained the idea of attending a grad program for urban planning or business however my real life experience started to grow and I’ve managed to participate as PM on some major residential and commercial projects that I believe give me the background to start this company.
I have sourced properties, RFQs and RFPs that have due dates in 2021..I would like to partner with somebody and submit.
I will be happy to share LinkedIn after connecting.
Look forward to meeting / talking with everyone
Thanks
submitted by eucalyptushoney007 to Newark [link] [comments]


2020.10.08 18:03 Drowning_in_sorrow How to get back with an ex after LDR breakup!

I met my now ex 2 years ago after my Undergrad studies. It hit a great note right from the beginning. But I had to move to the US to pursue my PhD. I asked her out before I left and we started dating. Of course being in two different continents with different time zones sucked. But we were so much in love, we made it work somehow. Last December I got a little too busy with work and couldn’t make enough time for her or my family to even speak properly. She felt like I pushed her away unintentionally. She wanted to breakup but somehow we survived it. The next 7 months were so good that our love for each other grew more and more with each passing day. I got busy towards the end of July due to lot of work (grad life, tell me about it!). It was a similar situation like December. She understood I was busy but she also wanted me to make more time. It was my fault that I couldn’t. I understand. But then later she ended up breaking up with me, even though she’s coming to the place where I study in January to do her PhD. I’ve been so good to her throughout our relationship, and yes I got busy, but this hurt me a lot. I love her to bits. She’s told me now that she doesn’t love me anymore and that I should move on. She told her friend that she’s completely over it. Her friend also told me that she’ll definitely not get back with me when she comes here. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I want to make it work. Idk what to do. We still talk and she wants to stay friends. She doesn’t text me first anyways. It’s me all the time. I’m giving her space and time , but I don’t really know what to do next. This hurts so much, especially when my mum is on a deathbed due to COVID and my ex is not even here for me to lean onto anymore. Sorry just had to vent. I don’t even know if I have a chance again with her, even after I’ve made significant changes in my life, started going for therapy.
TL;DR Being in a long distance relationship for 2 years and not having met in the meantime, I wanna know what the chances are of us getting back together, now that she’s coming here.
submitted by Drowning_in_sorrow to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.10.08 16:33 Drowning_in_sorrow Difficulty in handling a LDR breakup

I met my now ex 2 years ago after my Undergrad studies. It hit a great note right from the beginning. But I had to move to the US to pursue my PhD. I asked her out before I left and we started dating. Of course being in two different continents with different time zones sucked. But we were so much in love, we made it work somehow. Last December I got a little too busy with work and couldn’t make enough time for her or my family to even speak properly. She felt like I pushed her away unintentionally. She wanted to breakup but somehow we survived it. The next 7 months were so good that our love for each other grew more and more with each passing day. I got busy towards the end of July due to lot of work (grad life, tell me about it!). It was a similar situation like December. She understood I was busy but she also wanted me to make more time. It was my fault that I couldn’t. I understand. But then later she ended up breaking up with me, even though she’s coming to the place where I study in January to do her PhD. I’ve been so good to her throughout our relationship, and yes I got busy, but this hurt me a lot. I love her to bits. She’s told me now that she doesn’t love me anymore and that I should move on. She told her friend that she’s completely over it. Her friend also told me that she’ll definitely not get back with me when she comes here. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I want to make it work. Idk what to do. We still talk and she wants to stay friends. She doesn’t text me first anyways. It’s me all the time. I’m giving her space and time , but I don’t really know what to do next. This hurts so much, especially when my mum is on a deathbed due to COVID and my ex is not even here for me to lean onto anymore. Sorry just had to vent. I don’t even know if I have a chance again with her, even after I’ve made significant changes in my life, started going for therapy.
submitted by Drowning_in_sorrow to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.10.08 04:28 PathViz Occupational Therapist at Abbot Northwestern Hospital (Minneapolis, MN)

Publish Date 7/11/20
Total Compensation $74,000
Years of experience 4.0
Recommended Education Master's Degree
Job/Career Demand 5.0
Positive Impact 4.0
Satisfaction 4.0
Advancement/Growth 2.0
Creativity 3.5
Work-Life Balance 5.0
Compensation & Benefits 3.5
Work Environment 3.5

What's a day in the life of an occupational therapist?

When I arrive in the morning, I get my patient list and assignment for what unit I’ll be on that day. I do a full chart review for each patient so I know what their medical history is and why they are hospitalized. Acute care OT requires a lot of medical understanding in order to know how the patient’s body will respond to your treatment in relation to their reason for admission. You have to know what lab values are significant, what a patient can or cannot do after a specific procedure, or how far to push an unstable patient. For each patient, my job is to evaluate their current level of functioning and determine what is limiting them from being independent and returning to “pre-hospital” life. I’ll then create goals and a treatment plan to get them back to that level. I’ll also work with the patient and their family to determine the safest place for them to go when it’s time to discharge from the hospital. If I've already evaluated the patient, each therapy session will focus on addressing their goals and helping them get stronger, increase independence with daily activities, and prepare for discharge.
For example, if a new patient comes in for an acute stroke, they may have impairments related to coordination, strength, cognition, or vision. Each session will consist of functional, everyday activities to target this impairment. For example, if a patient has a visual field cut, we may have them work on visual scanning in preparation for walking in the community. If they have arm weakness or incoordination, we may have them load and unload a dishwasher with their impaired arm. We focus on doing “exercise” in the context of an everyday task, like a simulated kitchen activity, because research shows this increases neuroplasticity more quickly than traditional exercises. OTs can be as creative as they want to design treatment activities, and usually try to simulate daily life. At my hospital we have a fake kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and even a car to have people practice with.
Usually, I see 8-10 patients a day, with a mixture of first time evaluations and follow up treatment sessions. In acute care, the individual therapist is often able to create their patient schedule and decide when they see patients, when they take their lunch, and when they complete their documentation. After eight working hours, my day is over, and it's nice because I don't have to take any work home with me. If you're a new therapist, you may want to study various things you see at work, but overall I have great work-life balance and leave my work at work.

What's the best part of being an occupational therapist?

Being an OT is very fulfilling because you meet many people at their most vulnerable point in life with little to no hope. If you can be that person to give them a glimmer of something during such a dark time, I think that's powerful.
Because it's such a broad field, there's always room for learning and growth. The medical field is ever-changing and growing and, if I wanted to, I could still move to a new setting or scope. Some examples include mental health, inpatient rehab, outpatient, pediatric, school, academia and research, etc. I also know if I want to move to a specific city or state, there will always be job opportunities there.
Looking at OT as an investment, I would say that schooling is a moderate sacrifice for a high gain. I had about $60,000 in loans from grad school alone that I have been able to pay off, and I now have a career that I can utilize for the rest of my life.

What's the downside of being an occupational therapist? Words of caution?

You need to be a people person and want to work directly with people. It's not a great job if you like to sit down a lot, or prefer to work in an office. The position is relatively physical, you're always on your feet, doing a lot of bending, lifting, standing, moving around, etc. It's not the most glamorous job; if a doctor comes in, we're often pushed to the side.
Working in acute care may not be as fulfilling as working in other settings; progress is often slow, and you don't always get to see the same level of improvement as a setting later in the patient’s recovery process..
We don't get paid as much as I wish we did, fingers crossed for a market adjustment!

Describe the path you took to become an occupational therapist

I was inspired because I was looking for a career where I could work directly with patients and liked the option of working in several different settings. Initially, I wanted to work in mental health and got my undergrad in psychology from the University of Minnesota. After undergrad, I took two years off of school to work in a social work setting where I was introduced to OT. I initially was interested in pursuing OT in the mental health setting and liked that I would be working directly with patients. I was drawn to the idea of giving someone their life and independence back after a traumatic life event when they felt hopeless. While it's great that doctors can save people's lives on the brink of death, it's still a tough situation if you can never walk again, speak with your friends, or even put a shirt on. I wanted to help with that.
I applied to grad school through an online platform (otcas.liaisoncas.com) that submits your application to several schools. For the application, you have to write several essays, get letters of recommendation, and complete 40 hours of observation with an occupational therapist in several different settings. The 40 hours of observation is very helpful because it ensures you know what you're getting into before starting applying to an OT program. For most schools, you also have to take the GRE standardized test.
I got into the University of Wisconsin-Madison's program, where being accepted is very competitive (only 23 people are accepted each year). In my opinion, the fact that I had taken 2 years off from school to work and gain real-work experience really helped me get in. Schools like to see you will be able to pull from your work experiences to better relate to patients and be a better clinician. My OT program was three years long: 2.5 years of classroom work and six months of clinical practice. Each clinical is three months long, and there are a few breaks throughout the 3-year duration. I would highly recommend that you do your clinical work in the setting you want to work in after graduation because this will be the only OT experience you will have on your resume. Overall, I thought my program was pretty well balanced and not overly difficult compared to other grad programs I’ve heard about. In the first two years, you learn many broad concepts and don't go into a lot of specifics until you get to the clinical setting, most job-site specific training comes once you choose your setting.
Once you graduate, you take your board exams for your national license, called the NBCOT. The exam covers everything, so it's somewhat tricky with how broad the field of OT is. Pretty much everyone leaves the examination thinking they failed. I remember having a near panic attack because I thought I failed and didn't want to wait to retake it. Luckily, I found out I passed a couple of weeks later and had the go-ahead to start practicing and applying to hospitals.

What's the future outlook for an occupational therapist?

Jobs are only growing for OT's. There's always going to be sick people, there's still going to be people who are injured, people who need retraining. Usually, there are not enough clinicians to go around; you'll always be able to find a job even if it's not necessarily the setting you want. I received a master's, but a lot of schools are transitioning to doctoral programs. I could see all the schools going this way in the next ten years or so. I don't see the benefit in a doctorate program, because students will be going to school for another year, paying more, and getting the same jobs available today. Doctoral programs will likely weed out many potential OT candidates who don't want to invest that much time and money.

Anything else?

Try and narrow down what your passion is (what type of patient population) as early as possible and gain experience in that area. I get excited about the medical field and learning about new treatments. I like the hospital setting, the fast pace, being able to use my critical thinking skills. OT challenges me and working with this medically complex population has an element of risk to it. If I do something wrong or am not informed, I could hurt a patient, and that keeps me engaged and on my toes in a strange way. If you don't like fast paced settings or prefer more stability, working in a school, rehab center, or outpatient clinic might be preferable where it's more calm and relaxed.
Once again, I recommend that one of your clinicals be in the exact setting you want to get a job in later. This is a great career overall!
--
Comments will be live on the website PathViz tomorrow, where the reviewer can answer any of your potential questions :)
submitted by PathViz to JobProfiles [link] [comments]


2020.10.08 00:48 ThrowRA101001001 I (22 M) am hesitant for my girlfriend (22 F) to move in with me, even though her financial situation would benefit from it.

So my gf and I have been dating now for almost 2 years. We met in the junior year of my undergrad and since then we have both graduated. I am now currently in grad school pursuing a Master's degree in my dream field. Since graduating, my gf has been working full time and makes a decent living at a job while using her degree. My gf's living situation is not the most stable, as her and her living partner struggle to pay the bills on time, and my gf ends up paying most of them herself. Her living partner is considering moving out soon, leaving my gf with the position of finding somewhere else to live by herself. My gf wanted myself and her to find a place together to live over a year ago, and I told her I was not ready for such a step in our relationship. I said this, knowing that we are both rather immature and fight from time to time. I also think that we have not been dating nearly long enough for us to take this step together. She took this decision of mine very hard back then. And when it came up again today, she took it hard once again. I truly care about my gf and it hurts me to see her struggle like this. In the past, I have done a lot to help her out financially, I have given her money to pay bills in the past, and I buy her food/cook for her often. My financial situation much different than her own. My parents make good money and are very comfortable for where they live. That being said, they are by no means rich. They have saved money their wholes lives in order to provide me and my siblings with a college education, without having to live with student debt. I am incredibly grateful for this, and as a result, try my hardest on school to make good grades. Since entering my masters program, I have worked weekends as I am taking a lot of credit hours. Anyway, since I do not have full time employment, my parents pay my rent. This has caused my girlfriend to want to move in with me so that she can save money, as I don't have to pay my rent. This troubles me, as we have only been dating for almost two years. I also think that we are very young to be living together, as we are both newly grads. I told her that I was not ready for this step in our relationship, and she became furious and said that I was not a man because I did not want her and her large dog to move in with me and my 3 other roommates in our small duplex. She said some hurtful things in the heat of the moment, and so did I. I'm now reflecting on the interaction and can only think about when she told me I was being selfish for "watching her suffer" while my parents pay my rent. I am wrong for not letting her move in with me?
submitted by ThrowRA101001001 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.06 20:17 RellinMay I feel too old the be this unprepared for real life

This is going to be very long, forgive me, but I have no idea what I’m doing in life and this is kind of my last straw.
When I (25F) think of things I want to do career-wise I have general ideas of what it looks like and what it takes that probably come from watching too much TV. I don’t feel like anyone owes me anything, but I also feel I’ve been woefully unprepared for the real world and I don’t have time for more mistakes.
I’ve got $70k in debt, live in my parents house, I lost a job I hated anyway because of the pandemic and I have no idea how to create the life I envision for myself. I have it better than a lot of people, I know that for sure and I’m thankful everyday for the life my parents were able to create for me. But I don’t know where to go to next in order to be successful. I love working! Using my hands, my mind to earn my value is unproblematic for me and I refuse to be given things I didn’t earn or more than what I’m worth, but I don’t know much about the things that are in demand in the business world.
I’ve had a few jobs working for others doing different things, but my work truly suffers when I’m not enjoying what I do and when working for people not as intelligent as me - which apparently is what I can expect for the majority of my working life. My friends who are doctors and lawyers go on beautiful vacations, live where they want, date and worry little, but work crazy hours and generally would choose to be around different people. My artsy/entrepreneur friends still live paycheque to paycheque, smoke weed, spend time with their friends and love the people they surround themselves with and working toward something of their own, but complain about not having the freedom they want and not really being respected in society.
I went for a post-grad law degree a couple years ago straight out of undergrad but had to drop out due to debilitating depression. I still have interest in it but I don’t know if I wasn’t cutting it because I was sick, or because it wasn’t meant for me. I was able to afford that with the help of my parents, who I don’t want to ask for anything more than a place to live. So if I go back, I’ll be completely broke for at least a decade, and if I don’t like it I flunk out or spend the next how ever many years working a high paying job that kills my soul in order to finance all the mistakes I made in my 20’s and that life scares the hell out of me.
My brother (31) is a lawyer downtown, works 20 hour days, never fully present, but always loving what he does and when he doesn’t, knows he’s working toward something he will. He also has a clear load on his shoulders about his debt, but is confident that by 45 with smart investing and budgeting he’s going to be laughing. He also already has a wife and kids and all the other aspects of his life worked out pretty much, whereas everything about my existence is pretty up in the air.
My dad (53) is an engineer and says I haven’t proven I can work so I shouldn’t bet on being able to go to school part-time and work for myself part-time and be able to create the life I’m imaging. I would be better off going to school, making connections and getting a good job so I can explore things on the other end with some guaranteed stability. That means another 4 years of dedicated study without getting a job or just real life experience. And what is economic stability when you’re living unfulfilled anyway? But its also obviously a classic and time-proven way of generally knowing what your life will look like financially.
My mom (56) thinks I should start my own business and is always - quite annoyingly - getting into my ideas and then trying to blend them with hers and thinking she’s being the idyllic mother and mentor. But when I disagree or want something else in what I’m thinking she gets annoyed and backs off completely, leaving me with a mangled version of a concept I wanted, filled in with all her own details and no real understanding of where to go. It makes me wonder if I just didn’t want that thing at all, or if she ruined it, or if I made it seem better in my head, or if maybe I just need to follow the rules of everyone around me. She’s a “successful” entrepreneur working around 18h days, making about 50k off an idea she created 30 years back. But she also did that with the backing of a man who works a classic high paying job that pays a majority of the bills.
I’m smart - always been the top of my class. I’m pretty - an unfortunate number of my friends tell me to find a man who will spoil me and take it from there. I don’t think I have a life that most people can relate to, so its hard for me to talk and explain what I’m going through to people without them rolling their eyes or telling me it will all work out. I don’t live in a fantasy world, I know I have a lot of hard work coming my way in order to be successful. But I was raised under the idea of following the system and sticking in it and working hard because people will recognize my talent and potential and that will allow me to make my own mark on the already existing system. I don’t know that that works in today’s world if you also want to be a person who enjoys life and is happy. But I will, if that’s truly what it takes. I just don’t have the time or the money to make more mistakes because I simply didn’t know better.
I have no actual interest in being a real estate agent, but almost every successful person I’ve met has a background in it, so I’m thinking about getting my real estate license - which would take about a year and all the money I have on hand - and using that information to get into investing. And then doing law part time (6yrs) a couple years from now which would make it more affordable. Everyone and their mother has a reason why this is wispy washy, I just can’t tell what’s right and I don’t know enough about the world to be confident in making a decision.
I would be over the moon for literally any opinions, stories, or advice.
TLDR; I don’t want to replicate the life of a despondent Boomer who’s part of the system because it means I’ll be able to financially afford a certain lifestyle, but I don’t want to be that naive millenial who thought she knew better and never made it anywhere. I live at home because of debt, have a couple business ideas, and grades good enough to go back to school, but no money. I want to work and work hard, but it’s also important to me to be able to enjoy life without relying on anyone else. What should I do?
submitted by RellinMay to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.06 19:50 RellinMay Boomer vs Millennial ideology for getting started in your working life

This is going to be very long, forgive me, but I have no idea what I’m doing in life and this is kind of my last straw.
When I (25F) think of things I want to do career-wise I have general ideas of what it looks like and what it takes that probably come from watching too much TV. I don’t feel like anyone owes me anything, but I also feel I’ve been woefully unprepared for the real world and I don’t have time for more mistakes.
I’ve got $70k in debt, live in my parents house, I lost a job I hated anyway because of the pandemic and I have no idea how to create the life I envision for myself. I have it better than a lot of people, I know that for sure and I’m thankful everyday for the life my parents were able to create for me. But I don’t know where to go to next in order to be successful. I love working! Using my hands, my mind to earn my value is unproblematic for me and I refuse to be given things I didn’t earn or more than what I’m worth, but I don’t know much about the things that are in demand in the business world.
I’ve had a few jobs working for others doing different things, but my work truly suffers when I’m not enjoying what I do and when working for people not as intelligent as me - which apparently is what I can expect for the majority of my working life. My friends who are doctors and lawyers go on beautiful vacations, live where they want, date and worry little, but work crazy hours and generally would choose to be around different people. My artsy/entrepreneur friends still live paycheque to paycheque, smoke weed, spend time with their friends and love the people they surround themselves with and working toward something of their own, but complain about not having the freedom they want and not really being respected in society.
I went for a post-grad law degree a couple years ago straight out of undergrad but had to drop out due to debilitating depression. I still have interest in it but I don’t know if I wasn’t cutting it because I was sick, or because it wasn’t meant for me. I was able to afford that with the help of my parents, who I don’t want to ask for anything more than a place to live. So if I go back, I’ll be completely broke for at least a decade, and if I don’t like it I flunk out or spend the next how ever many years working a high paying job that kills my soul in order to finance all the mistakes I made in my 20’s and that life scares the hell out of me.
My brother (31) is a lawyer downtown, works 20 hour days, never fully present, but always loving what he does and when he doesn’t, knows he’s working toward something he will. He also has a clear load on his shoulders about his debt, but is confident that by 45 with smart investing and budgeting he’s going to be laughing. He also already has a wife and kids and all the other aspects of his life worked out pretty much, whereas everything about my existence is pretty up in the air.
My dad (53) is an engineer and says I haven’t proven I can work so I shouldn’t bet on being able to go to school part-time and work for myself part-time and be able to create the life I’m imaging. I would be better off going to school, making connections and getting a good job so I can explore things on the other end with some guaranteed stability. That means another 4 years of dedicated study without getting a job or just real life experience. And what is economic stability when you’re living unfulfilled anyway? But its also obviously a classic and time-proven way of generally knowing what your life will look like financially.
My mom (56) thinks I should start my own business and is always - quite annoyingly - getting into my ideas and then trying to blend them with hers and thinking she’s being the idyllic mother and mentor. But when I disagree or want something else in what I’m thinking she gets annoyed and backs off completely, leaving me with a mangled version of a concept I wanted, filled in with all her own details and no real understanding of where to go. It makes me wonder if I just didn’t want that thing at all, or if she ruined it, or if I made it seem better in my head, or if maybe I just need to follow the rules of everyone around me. She’s a “successful” entrepreneur working around 18h days, making about 50k off an idea she created 30 years back. But she also did that with the backing of a man who works a classic high paying job that pays a majority of the bills.
I’m smart - always been the top of my class. I’m pretty - an unfortunate number of my friends tell me to find a man who will spoil me and take it from there. I don’t think I have a life that most people can relate to, so its hard for me to talk and explain what I’m going through to people without them rolling their eyes or telling me it will all work out. I don’t live in a fantasy world, I know I have a lot of hard work coming my way in order to be successful. But I was raised under the idea of following the system and sticking in it and working hard because people will recognize my talent and potential and that will allow me to make my own mark on the already existing system. I don’t know that that works in today’s world if you also want to be a person who enjoys life and is happy. But I will, if that’s truly what it takes. I just don’t have the time or the money to make more mistakes because I simply didn’t know better.
I have no actual interest in being a real estate agent, but almost every successful person I’ve met has a background in it, so I’m thinking about getting my real estate license - which would take about a year and all the money I have on hand - and using that information to get into investing. And then doing law part time (6yrs) a couple years from now which would make it more affordable. Everyone and their mother has a reason why this is wispy washy, I just can’t tell what’s right and I don’t know enough about the world to be confident in making a decision.
I would be over the moon for literally any opinions, stories, or advice.
TLDR; I don’t want to replicate the life of a despondent Boomer who’s part of the system because it means I’ll be able to financially afford a certain lifestyle, but I don’t want to be that naive millenial who thought she knew better and never made it anywhere. I live at home because of debt, have a couple business ideas, and grades good enough to go back to school, but no money. I want to work and work hard, but it’s also important to me to be able to enjoy life without relying on anyone else. What should I do?
submitted by RellinMay to careeradvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.06 03:40 HungryHumble Alumni MBA Update

When I was on this sub I would always see a lot of posts of people interested in (online) MBAs after their degree and curious about places to look or that would accept their WGU degree. With all the schools I spoke to and looked at no one had anything against WGU and I would specifically ask them if they had worked with anyone from WGU (many said they did, I'm not sure how true that is). In hindsight, I'm not sure why I ever worried about my WGU degree and really shouldn't have let any posts make me think that there could be. It was never mentioned in any of my interviews, they were more interested in hearing about my professional experiences. There were one or two programs that I didn't meet GPA qualifications for but it was few.
Recently graduated in August (2020) and wanted to provide those interested with an update. I completed my bachelor's in 11 months at WGU after having 10 years of experience with the goal of going on to gain my MBA. Leading up to my graduation I had started to research online MBAs and comprising lists that focused around a lot of attributes and communicated with the universities prior to graduation. My original plan was to apply and see how it goes and then take the GMAT if needed (I really didn't feel like I needed to because of my experience), a few days (4) after graduation my spouse gave me the best graduation gift I could ask for and told me that I am going to be a father! This news completely took the GMAT off of the table unless absolutely necessary. These are the schools I was really interested in:
I also looked at Boston University, Oklahoma State, North Carolina, Kansas University, Kansas State, Wisconsin, and Penn State.

In the end, for me, it came down to the University of Illinois and LSUS, and for the reasons mentioned I decided on attending the University of Illinois. Some advice for anyone that is considering doing an (online MBA):

Feel free to ask questions and I'll do my best to answer them! Best of luck everyone!
submitted by HungryHumble to WGU [link] [comments]


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